This morning I pulled up to a stoplight and spotted a woman in the car next to mine. She was clearly on her way to work. Hair pulled neatly back. A crisp white blouse. Just another gal driving to work on a gray, rainy Monday.
But she looked beautiful.
Not model gorgeous. Not Angelina or Beyoncé exotic. Yet stunning in that simple, girl-next-door way that shows grace and dignity in her everyday beauty.
After a few seconds she caught me looking, frowned and averted her eyes back to the stoplight ahead. Clearly she was not as impressed with me as I was with her.
Women assume that any man looking at them from the next car is a pervert ogling body parts and mentally undressing her with his eyes.
Girls, I’m here to tell you that that ain’t so.
I hate to break the news to you, but men don’t envision you butt naked nor picture themselves doing you upon first glance. Our minds are actually developed enough to be able to appreciate your beauty as you are, clothes and all.
Just as I'm told you do when you see a really cute guy.
When a man spots an attractive woman, he is not looking at her with lust or disrespect. (Yes, even that whistling construction worker.) More likely, he is simply, sweetly mesmerized. Even a so-called “player” goes gently rapt when he spots a woman who turns his head. I’ve talked to many of my friends about it, and to a man they all confirm this point. Our appreciation of female beauty is much more genuine than women give us credit for.
I spot women everyday in the supermarket or bank or picking up kids at school - often in old jeans or sweat pants, no make-up, and clearly not out to impress anyone - and am so taken by the simple, elegant loveliness of their face and figure that I want to go up to them and say, “This isn’t a come-on or anything, but I just wanted to tell you that you look great today.”
But I don’t. I’m not sure why.
I would think it might be nice to hear that despite the rush she’s in, the argument she had with her husband that morning, the check she inadvertently bounced, the sinus infection that’s making her feel hideous, or just the everyday demons that shadow us all as we wrestle with the daily grind, that someone somewhere thought she looked amazingly attractive at that moment.
I know I sure would.
So ladies, the next time you spy a guy checking you out in the next car, give him a smile. He’s not trying to pick you up. He’s giving you a very sincere compliment.